If i come over, it means nothing
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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