I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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