he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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