Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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