need another drink. this is the easiest way
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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