When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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