I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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