I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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