I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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