Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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