Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize