Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
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Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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