i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize