I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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