Princesses don't give blow jobs
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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