Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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