is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize