I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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