I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize