i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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