fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize