so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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