Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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