he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize