Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
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who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
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What drink are we having for lunch?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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