I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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