I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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