He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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