I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
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just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
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The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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