I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize