Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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