I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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