I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize