Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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