so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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