I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
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We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
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I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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