I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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