I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
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Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So here I am, sexting at work.
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