He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize