I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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