i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I AM VODKA MAN
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize