Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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