apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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