I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
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It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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