I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize