wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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