And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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