she woke up with a sticky ear
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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