Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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