get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize